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Jon and I recently watched The Seventh Seal on Blu-Ray. It was my first time watching it, and I actually knew very little about it. I did not grow up on fine cinema. While I did watch some great movies, classics such as The Seventh Seal weren’t part of my repertoire the way Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey might have been (sadly, both not on Blu-Ray.) Neither of those movies are high art, but thanks to my familiarity with both of them, it wasn’t too long into The Seventh Seal that I realized that Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey shared The Seventh Seal as inspiration.

Death really does play chess. The Seventh Seal is a rumination on death. Given my current tendency towards acknowledging impermanence, this movie couldn’t have come at a better time. I asked myself a few days ago, how do you adequately express your emotional experience so as to conjure an empathic response in others that may give way to understanding? Big question, no?

It seems that with the really big things, it’s like shouting “The sky is blue!” louder and louder in the hopes that who ever may be listening may stop and understand the miracle that is living, breathing and seeing. That not only is the sky blue, but look at the amazing mystery that allows us to share in this moment of not taking that blueness for granted. How does one translate the leap in the heart, the moment of joy that one can experience with acknowledgment of the world, to someone who, for what ever reason, isn’t sharing that experience?

Ingmar Bergman tells the story of his own fear of death in The Seventh Seal. A fear so potent, that it is packed within each scene, giving you the terrible sense of foreboding, at first inclined towards hope for the knight, and as the film progresses, realizing that hope may be lost. I’m finding it is marvelous and rare that an individual’s personal emotional experiences can be translated effectively into art and brought to be a communal experience. The Seventh Seal is perhaps, so enduring, because it stands as a solid allegory for Bergman’s (and others) fear of death and search for spiritual fulfillment.

The Criterion Collection features for The Seventh Seal include the commentary track, as well as a few shorts from over the past few years. I found that the commentary track didn’t hold my interest in the way that The Third Man or Chungking Express did, which means that though The Seventh Seal is a fine film, I’m not inclined to purchase it for my own collection. However, it’s very well worth watching, and worth buying if you’re into the idea of having the complete Criterion Collection, or multiple viewings for your own analysis.

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I have something like $150 in credit at our local used book chain. Since my recent loss, I’ve been recommended a small handful of books, ranging from the helpful to the horrific. The best recommendation, though, came from a misreading of a title (Creative meaning from loss?) and a slightly askew book on a shelf. Making Loss Matter : Creating Meaning in Difficult Times was this book.

By the first page, I was already sniffling. I purchased the book right away, and read it over the course of a few weeks. As I went through the book, it occurred to me that anyone who has experienced a kind of loss could do well with this book. Rabbi Wolpe talks about the losses that everyone experiences. Loss of home, dreams, self, love, faith and life. Sometimes those losses encompass more than one of those things. Certainly, my own did.

Don’t let the fact that this is written by a religious man deter you, whether you consider yourself an atheist or non-Jewish. In fact, as a former Christian, atheist and solid agnostic, I found his views on faith and God unbelievably refreshing, especially compared to some of the previous books I’ve been handed that deal with my more specific kind of loss. In his chapter on Faith, Rabbi Wolpe writes:

The root of many problems of faith is a misunderstanding encourages by religion itself. We are often told that if only we are good, or act a certain way, God will reward us. Then we are struck by the losses of life. We see that there is no power that will save us from loss. Our means of navigating through the difficult times, the certainty of meaning, is snatched from us. If the universe has no guidance, whether we call it God or not, then how can our loss have meaning?

Establishing ourselves in the universe on the basis of quid pro quo cannot be right, however. There must be a better basis for relationship than the simple exchange of goods that some imagine is what being close to God is truly about. Meaning must be based on something deeper than my hope to be helped to success. Love is focused on the other, and on the transformation of the beloved to become worthier.

Rabbi Wolpe uses stories from the Bible, Jewish scholars, his own life and friends, history and literature to illustrate loss and it’s universal nature. These stories illustrate the unavoidable truth of loss, but also the ways those losses can create meaning in our lives and those of others. Personally, the book encouraged my own efforts to accept loss as a part of my life, but also to do something towards finding my own meaning in this cosmos.

I highly recommend this book. I believe it’s especially valuable for those who find themselves grieving, but don’t know what for, or why. This book is easy to approach, with a great deal of humanity and poignancy. I’m grateful to the person who didn’t quite put it back in the right place, for bringing it to my attention.

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Back in December I posted about three products that I had issues with, and had contacted those responsible. I thought I would update on those items.

First, and most disappointing – Evan Healy. I had purchased the sample kit from Whole Foods Market in White Plains, NY. The stuff is NOT easy to find on the shelves in Seattle! I had loved it before, and I loved it shortly after I bought it. That was, until, I discovered mold growing in the bottle of Blue Lavender Cleansing Milk. I promptly contacted the company, using the info available on the website. I never heard anything back. Such a shame, too. I was willing to spend the $24.95 for a 4oz bottle of a mostly, if not all, natural face cleanser. Not any more. Customer service means a lot, and I didn’t get any from Evan Healy.

What have I done to replace this? I’ve been using the old stand-by of Clinique Face Soap for Oily Skin . It seems to last forever, and though some will warn about using soap on your face, I find it works quite well for me. For moisture, I’ve been using Aveda All Sensitive Moisturizer.

Second – Luna and Larry’s Coconut Bliss. They’re a regional, vegan, frozen dessert company, and make some delicious stuff. However, on three occasions of buying the Cherry Amaretto, the pint was sometimes as much as a quarter cup empty! It was like the machine that filled it crapped out at the last bit. I let them know what happened, and received a perfectly pleasant email in return, apologizing and offering a gift certificate for my next pint. The certificate never arrived, and I haven’t heard anything since. Thankfully, I’ve found some coconutty alternatives, though not local. So sad!

What have I done to replace this? Purely Decadent Mint Chip is pretty awesome.

Third – the big biz, Marie Claire. I love my trashy women’s fashion mags. I really do. Marie Claire is one of the better ones, in my opinion. However, they failed to deliver my last two issues on time, and only gave me my second to last issue after the next issue was due. No word on what happened with my final issue, and I was so ticked off I didn’t bother renewing. Well, the economy must be hitting them (or something) because I got a mailing from them last week promising two years for less than the discounted cost of one year. Seriously, it’s stupidly cheap and worth my while since it’s the cost of three magazines in an airport for two years worth. I’m still debating signing up, though. It’s a lot of dead trees.

What have I done about this? Well, I attempted to re-up my subscription online, but that didn’t go so well. I have to wait a week to deal with the problems with them due to the time it takes to get it in the system, so – we’ll see. Allegedly, I’ve got issues waiting for me, they just need a good address (I guess my current one was “undeliverable” for some reason. Oh well… we’ll find out soon enough, right?

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Buyer Beware! If you have the misfortune of being in an emergency and go to Swedish Medical Center Ballard, you should know that the physicians that treat you are contracted by Swedish Ballard and do not necessarily take the insurance you have, even if the facility (the hospital itself) is in network. You may be liable for charges exceeding your insurance’s maximum allowed amount. This can be much more than what is the maximum allowed by Medicaid. This has happened to me as well as a friend of mine. We were not notified by our insurance, Premera Blue Cross of Washington, that we might be in this situation when seeking emergency care.

Who are the ER physicians? They are listed as Ballard Emergency Physicians, and their billing office is contracted out of Oklahoma. This puts them far away from the administrative offices, as well as the doctors who may serve you.

In case you wondered, here is the information for the Ballard Emergency Physicians, as made available on the Washington Secretary of State’s website, and the Department of Licensing (1, 2) website.

For reference:

Location Address:
EMERGENCY DEPT SWEDISH M.C.
NW MARKET & BARNES
SEATTLE, WA, 98107

Mailing Address:
5409 BARNES AVE NW
SEATTLE, WA, 98107-3840

and also:

Location Address:
5300 TALLMAN AVE NW
SEATTLE, WA, 98107-3932

Mailing Address:
PO BOX 70707
SEATTLE, WA, 98127-1507

President JARRIS , RAY
Vice President SCOTT , MARK
Secretary WEXLER , ROBERT
Treasurer BROWN , MICHAEL

Please share if you’ve had the issue of non-coverage due to the physicians not being under your insurance, and if so, how you resolved it, or what you did to resolve it? I’ll update later with what I’m doing.

See previously: Emergency Room Charges.

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I know more about getting a homeless person with mental illness medical and mental health services, covered and paid for, than my own.

Turns out, there’s a simplicity that comes with relying on DSHS health plans, public clinics and state and county supported hospitals. Not so for those with some funds, and insurance.

I ended up in the ER (Swedish Medical Center Ballard) a couple months ago with what turned out to be a DVT. I knew my insurance covered the hospital, and my doctor referred me to the local ER, just a few blocks from my house. Last Friday I received a bill for the Ballard Emergency Physicians, the people who treated me (and gave about 15 min of face time) for $550. No insurance coverage, except for the “maximum allowed amount” of about $150.

The billing service that sent me the bill was helpful – they let me know that though they got the name of the person billed wrong, that the problem was with the insurance (Premera Blue Cross) and the physician group. Turns out that though the facility (Swedish Hosptital Ballard) is covered by the insurance and is in-network, the physicians that work in the ER (Ballard Emergency Physicians) are contracted, and have their own insurance preferences, in this case, NOT PREMERA.) This means that a person can be in a state of emergency, taken to the nearest emergency room, have coverage for being in the facility, but not for the treatment.

When I asked the insurance how to avoid this problem in the future, she suggested to “call ahead.”

I spoke to a supervisor with the billing service for the physicians group. Not surprisingly, she laid the blame on Premera, saying that they’re well aware of this kind of thing going on, and that this is an increasing trend at hospitals to cut costs. Others have commented that there is also rampant greed with the physicians groups, in addition to difficulties with wrangling with Premera themselves.

It’s a sick system, really. One that I was previously unaware of. I know I’m lucky that the amount I’m being charged, ultimately, is only $300, which is chump change compared to what some people walk out of the ER with. However, it’s offensive to me that once you past that threshold into the ER, you have no choice of seeing a provider that’s covered by your insurance (let alone, lab services, which are an additional contract out!)

There needs to be health care reform. It’s ridiculous that the systems I’ve navigated for indigent clients are simpler than the systems I’m navigating for myself. Profit and cost-cutting get in the way of the bottom line of getting people medical care.

And I’ve looked at an independent party’s ratings of the Swedish system compared to UW and Harborview for relevant conditions – they might have top of the line technology, but their outcomes are worse than expected. What are they spending money on?

Pardon the disjointed rant. For once I’m not doing as thorough a job as I try to for this blog. :)

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