Churning
I had every intention of sitting down today and writing something inspirational.
Since I’ve been out of the “write a six page post-a-day” club for awhile, I find that coordinating my motivation and thoughts in front of a keyboard is a little tougher than it was 4 years ago. I guess I’ll conveniently seperate my “most frequent thoughts” and give y’all a brief capsule as to my day-to-day.
Work -
I’m still working at the same place, over a year later. The longer I work there, the less proficient I feel in some of the clinical arena, but the more proficient I feel in the “getting shit done” arena. (I guess today is the day of ‘ ” ’s ‘.) I’m pretty damn good with the navigating of the systems that my patients are in, and helping them navigate them as well. I might even be doing OK with addressing the substance abuse issues and medication issues in the community. It struck me the other day, though, that I can’t tell you who my favorite theorist is, what modality I work in, or even what theoretical framework I call home. In truth, I just do what I feel is right.
I never could pick a single religion to follow because there are really good parts about every single one I encountered. Every single one. Picking a theory, the author of that theory and the subsequent mental health treatment movement is just not my bag. In school, we were told to read the material, but spend our classes talking about the meat of the material. That’s what I did, and I was annoyed with all the students that could only regurgitate the theories. Now I’m in a supervision group for licensure and we’re supposed to be talking about theories. The husband recommended picking something like “Jesus Christ” as a theoretical framework/modality/etc. It would be simple - help the needy, treat other people like you would like to be treated, love your neighbor, etc. If it didn’t come with such loaded implications, I’d be down with that. If I didn’t feel like such a poser, I’d say the Buddha - or Pema Chodron, who is a Buddhist nun that I really rock out to. It’s a hard one to figure out, and it makes me feel like digging up all these 101 books so I don’t feel so … stupid.
Friends-
I miss my friends in Chicago terribly. I think about them often, and I want to be there with them. It has been on my mind a lot lately. I also miss Chicago - which is a city, but like a friend in familiarity. I don’t have the same rapport w/ Seattle that I did in Chicago. I’m meeting Seattle at a different stage in my life. I was a mostly single woman in Chicago. I’ve been coupled almost every day of my time in Seattle. I feel like I’ve grown up a lot too. I miss Chicago - maybe as a symbol of wanton youth, and maybe just because it was my friends that made my last years there so memorable. The city wouldn’t be the same without them.
I also haven’t had a chance to build friendships here in Seattle the way I would like. I don’t have the time to maintain them. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.
Family-
In what way do I mean family? The whole deal. My family, his family - our family. “Our” family. Society has so many expectations, my biology does as well. There’s so much that it’s astounding, and I wonder if I’m really ready to grow up - for real.
Coming up Next - Consumption.
Tags: General, social work