Why? I have a few ideas. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and like many of these northern dwellers, I’m deficient in Vitamin D - I’ve started supplementing, and even got a sunburn last week, so hopefully I’ll start life towards the solstice a little less deficient than last year. Additionally, I’ve been diving, in the cold waters of Puget Sound, which means that along with ravaging my hair with salt water, I’ve been wearing a hood to keep the heat in, and have a nice thick wetsuit to birth my head through before every dive. This, as you can imagine, tortures my hair.

And then there was my ill-thought out decision to try flat-ironing my hair a few months ago. So this, plus chemical processing, has left my hair in a less than enviable position. Pantene wasn’t quite helping, and frankly, I’ve been wanting to get back to my “less chemicals is better” trend I fell into when working at Whole Foods.

This enters my trial of Aubrey shampoo, which claims to be 100% natural, and sure enough, the label doesn’t seem to cite anything chemically funny. The shampoo feels astringent, but the conditioner feels super-moisturizing, so much so that I’ve had to decrease the amount I thought I’d need for my hair. I’m a few weeks in, and I’m liking the smell as well as the texture of my hair. I also feel a little better about the suds washing down the drain.

I’m not sure how long I’ll love it, but I’m definitely a fan now. Who knew? I’d been passing up this stuff for years!

I’m considering entering a 5k fun run at the end of the month, just to give it a shot. I know that I might end up walking part of the way, but maybe I should just do it. I’ll consider it after next week.

So, what’s been keeping me so busy? I’ve been helping my dive instructor, Girl Diver with some of her classes. Last weekend, I got to assist in a class where I knew three of the students. It was a good weekend, though tiring. This is the second class I’ve assisted with in the past month - the first one was an advanced class. Since I’m not certified as anything but an advanced diver, I can’t do any of the work with the students in the water - but I can serve as a buddy! This brings me to the latest - next week I’m going to get my butt kicked by Girl Diver as that I’ve enrolled in her Rescue Diving course, which promises to be a harrowing challenge. She prides herself on having one of the toughest PADI rescue courses in the area, but this is because she has an emphasis on safety. Once I complete Rescue, it means that I’ll be eligible to enter the Divemaster program. It’s exciting, yet intimidating stuff - which could end up as a job, though unfortunately not a paying one quite yet.

Remember - if you go to Girl Diver for any dive training, tell her I sent ya! Every referral helps continue my education!

In other fitness news, I’ve been able to go to my local yoga center for class almost once a week so far. It’s tough going back, because one 1.25 hr session will make my muscles ache for days! It feels like nothing going through it, but the impact the following days can’t be ignored. Today I cracked open one of my yoga books and did a 15 minute session. It feels good and familiar, but when I do it on my own I can’t help but be concerned that I’m doing it wrong.

It’s cheaper doing it at home, though - $15/session cheaper.

So that’s the brief update of my life in fitness topics. It’s pretty much all I’m doing lately - that and agonizing over being hungry all the time. The trick for me right now is to figure out how to fuel my activity without over-fueling. We’ll see how the next few weeks work out. Also coming the next few weeks - the change in seasonal temperature! How will this impact my outdoor activities? Dry suit for diving? Vest and raingear for running? Maybe a part time gig at a outdoor clothing store or a dive shop might be worth a gander, huh?

This week I paid a lot more attention to my heart rate monitor, and less to the distance. This means that the day after yoga, I was a lot slower. Yesterday (see above) I went farther than usual thanks to my accidentally setting a program on my heart rate monitor. Instead of it beeping at me when I was at 76% of my max hr, it was waiting until 84%, which was a lot harder on me. I’m happy that I got a good distance at the end of the week, but it was exhausting and not terribly enjoyable. I set my hrm back to the moderate pace, so next time I hope to not be so strained.

I was thinking of switching my running to 3x/wk instead of 4, but I think I’d miss it. I also want to do yoga at least 1x per week, if not 2, but I need to get my body warmed up to that idea. Then there’s scuba, which I’d like to do at least once every two weeks. We did a brief dive on Saturday, but the viz was horrible and at 68 ft, when it started to clear up, it was dark enough to need a light (this was during midday).

So this week, I try another yoga class, continue to jog with my hrm and train a bit better, and mostly just try to relax.

I was a bit annoyed by the short distance, then I came home and read up on using my heart rate monitor for training, realizing that I maybe just need to throw this distance thing out of the window once and for all. Here’s another clue - my muscles were sore BEFORE I went out. Maybe going a shorter distance was expected by my body, if not exactly what it needed. Then there’s the thought that maybe I should have skipped my jog today because right now, I hurt!!

Today’s lesson, in sum, is yoga is a lot tougher than it seems and overworking my muscles does nobody any good.

Ouch.

It’s unbelievable, in some ways, that I’m going out of the house, four times a week, and instead of hiding on an eliptical trainer in the corner of a gym, jiggling and jogging past neighborhood people for thirty minutes. Even better, I’m doing this with shorts that show my flabby thighs and shirts that expose my flabby arms. This, I’m finding, is the side-effect of weight loss. Much as with my venture into scuba and the wetsuit, I respond to my fears of judgment from others with a, “Well, I don’t see YOU daring to do what I’m daring to do.” What I’m choosing to do isn’t easy - either diving or running. People much thinner than me can be just as unable or fearful to be out in the world and do what I’m doing.

I’m finding that sometimes, on my “off days” from running, I really just want to go out there anyway. I jogged yesterday, and I try not to run two days in a row except on Saturday and Sunday just to give myself a rest. The thing is, though, is that I enjoy going out and going around the neighborhood. Yesterday I tried a new route. It’s tricky to find a mostly flat route in Seattle, but luckily where I’m at there are a few north/south streets that run parallel, and aside from *getting* to those streets, they stay fairly flat.

This past Saturday, Jon and I went to Green Lake Park, an Olmstead designed park about 5 miles from where we live. The trail around the lake is about 2.8 miles around, and features a gravel and asphalt path for both walking/running and wheeled bipeds. Jon and I just walked about a third of the path to check it out. Driving to a park to run seems wasteful to me, but the was something just absolutely lovely about the area that may make the trek worth it.

I’m not sure exactly how I got to where I am today - with scuba or with running (or jogging, as is currently my speed.) A large part has to do with weight loss, which I like to de-emphasize, even if it is something that is obvious to see. I think of myself as the same person wearing different clothing - not necessarily any smaller or less healthy. There are definitely positive health benefits to the weight loss, and life benefits including making my active pursuits easier. One thing I remind people is that when I was at my heaviest, I would go to the gym 3-4 times a week and do at least 30 minutes, and sometimes an entire hour of cardio before going on to the weight machines. I would often be able to lift more than women half my size. Finally, I never had high blood pressure - the downside of that being that now I tend towards low blood pressure, and have to be careful when getting up from a seated position, or making sure I’m eating protein in the morning to avoid a carb-crash.

Health isn’t necessarily something that’s visible. I’m more physically healthy now, but not because I’m smaller, but because I’m doing a wider range of activities than I was before. Another part of health is all in your head - and that’s where my real work hasn’t really started. I’m a work-a-holic, someone who deals with work stress and life stress by working harder, more intensely, and getting lost in minutae that compound the stress from before. This is unhealthy in its own way, but it’s not something you’ll necessarily see if you pass me on the street (aside from my furrowed brow, which is more obvious now that I’ve lost the fat that kept those lines from appearing!)

It’s a long road to holistic wellness - and I don’t think it’s one that really has an end to it. Maybe it’s not so much an endless path but an entrance to a state of being we arrive to, and endeavor to stay in its circle. Something to think about.

Frustrating week for jogging. I only did 3 of my usual 4 days this week because I spent one day this week diving, and was in a fair amount of pain the next few days afterwards, so I gave myself a break. Diving, it turns out, works out most of my backside, whereas running seems to do more to my front. At least, this is where I experienced the muscle pain.

Yesterday’s run (above) was disappointing distance-wise. I’m not seeing much improvement in speed or endurance, but yesterday was also a day where I was really stressed mentally, and had about 5 hrs sleep the night before (new noisy neighbors!) I’ve mostly switched to the heart rate monitor letting me know when I need to slow or speed up. A good chunk of the time, I’m wanting to go faster than it says I should. I know from the book that my muscles will be able to do more than the rest of me, so I have to have patience with the cardio-training.

I’m realizing that I really want to not just run a 5k, but also do really well when I do it. If we’re in town Thanksgiving weekend, I’m thinking of doing the 5k that accompanies the Seattle Marathon. It’s also the weekend of my birthday, and I think that a good way to celebrate one step further into my third decade is to do something fitness oriented. Next year, I’m thinking 10k, but I don’t want to get too ahead of myself.

This week, I’m just going to keep on paying attention to my heart rate monitor, and hope that by keeping mindful of not over-exerting myself, I may just get where I need to go faster.

From Runner’s World Complete Book of Women’s Running by Dagny Scott Barrios:

page 46
Week 5. Walk 3 minutes, then run 12 minutes, then repeat. By the end of the week, walk 3 minutes, run 15 minutes, walk until rested, then run the rest of the session.
Goal by week’s end: a 15 minute running segment.

page 45
By the Numbers
If you decide to run with a heart-rate monitor, you can use it to determine when to walk and run during your 30-minute sessions…The method is simple: Just jog until the monitor registers your 75 percent limit, then walk until your heart rate drops to the 60 percent rate. At that point, begin jogging again until you hit 75 percent, and so on.

This week, I’ve highlighted these specific passages because I’ve not quite learned to follow instructions. While I think I’ve greatly improved my training by using my Polar F11 Heart Rate Monitor (HRM) along with my Nike+ SportBand, I’ve failed to actually follow the instructions for this endeavor. I have a nasty habit of pushing myself too hard, or not following instructions to the letter, either because I disbelieve that someone else might know better or because of my tendency to want to punish myself for not being perfect from the start.

My farthest distance this week was 2.2 mi in 30′11″, and I did that by following closely to the Week 5 program, and actually was jogging for over 15 min total during that session. I listened to the beeping of my HRM and actually walked for awhile after the 15 min stretch, and ran most of the rest of the way after my heart rate slowed to about 60%. Granted, I went over my usual 30′03″, so that naturally added some distance, but as you can see above, though I jogged roughly 28 minutes of that 30′03, I didn’t gain any efficiency, and indeed, my HRM was beeping at me a good bulk of the latter half telling me that I was overworking myself.

The thing is, I am not jogging at an uncomfortable rate, so I do feel like I can pretty much jog forever at the slow pace I’m going. If I go faster, though, the HRM starts beeping at me to chill out. I like being able to jog continuously for over 20 minutes straight, but I’m skeptical now that maybe I’m not getting the full benefits by not doing the program exactly as designed, especially with regard to listening to the HRM, which self-programs to my heart rate every session. I actually want to jog faster, but I also want to efficiently train.

I haven’t followed the rules of this program since about Week 3.

I know I’ll get to the point where I can do a 5k in a decent amount of time, but I’m impatient and I want to get to that point faster. I’m hoping that this week I may find more of a balance, and will actually try to follow the HRM recommendations from the book, and also the program for Week 6, which has the end result of ONLY 20 minutes jogging in the middle, with 5 minutes on either side walking.

There are a lot of people in private practice in the helping professions. Not only do we have the University of Washington, that turns out MSW’s from not just one, but two campuses, but we have a number of other universities and professional schools that offer Masters degrees that can lead to counseling positions. Up until recently, Washington did not the require licensure to be in private practice (though the Registered Counselor issue is soon being rectified.) I happen to know of one prominent local woman that, last I checked, had no verified credentials listed on the Department of Health license list, but yet she offers not just counseling and therapy, but also classes and personal sessions on more intimate topics.

More than a couple of my former clients at both the hospital and with the mental health court would tell me that they had found a naturopath that could treat their schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. While I do not discount that lifestyle, dietary and supplemental changes can have a positive impact on mental health, usually by the time I’ve met this person, they’ve gotten themselves in some serious trouble that sends a clear signal that something wasn’t working.

I actually love going to my naturopath (ND) as that I’m more interested in getting wellness tips on a regular basis than seeing someone once every two years (or more) for an infection that’s not self-resolving. The problem with ND’s is the same problem I find with many of the people advertising as therapists in the Seattle area: how do you distinguish from the grounded, holistic, respectful of conventional medicine/practice individuals and the flighty, fanatical, anti-establisment practitioners? Jon reminded me of an ND he saw once a few years back who went on an anti-semetic rant regarding 9/11, which was a stark contrast to the professionalism and level-headedness of my ND.

Both of them were Bastyr graduates, if I recall correctly.

If I did go into private practice, how would I distinguish myself? I could start with the very true statement that I take my profession very seriously, endeavor to keep up to date on current research in therapeutic techniques, distill that with my experience and ability to sniff bullshit, and offer a person-centered, strengths based approach to counseling. I then could add that I’ve spent over 2 years working with people with acute mental illness in various stages of wellness and have had the oversight of some of the best psychiatrists in Western Washington. I could say on my promotional material, “experience counts!” and hope that nobody thinks of politicians or personal injury lawyers.

Here’s the other side, though, and this one I can understand because I think there is a reason we have so many alternatives to conventional therapy and medicine on the West Coast. There remains a distrust of the establishment and an idea that there are secrets to wellness that conventional medicine, pharmacology and therapy won’t tell you. It’s easy to get sour when you see ads for medications to cure every ailment you’ve ever had or could imagine, especially when your doctor is telling you to take them and you don’t feel like you need them (ie. my doctor wanted me to take a steroid nasal spray for minor seasonal allergies).

I witnessed this attitude when I worked at Whole Foods Market a few years ago in the Whole Body (supplements and body care) department. One day, a rotund, tall, blind man came into my department and came up to the counter. In his hand, he had a bottle of supplement that in the very least, claims to help support healthy blood pressure. He told me that he had been experiencing chest pain, radiating down his left arm, and then handed the bottle to me to ask if this supplement would help. As I had told many other customers in the past, I told him that I was not a medical professional, so I could not diagnose or treat any problem. I was in a state of alarm thinking this guy was going to drop dead any minute from a heart attack. So as best as I could, following the guidelines of my job, I let him know that what I was hearing him describe might necessitate him going to the emergency room ASAP. He stood there, gestured to the supplement again, and asked again if I thought the supplement would help. I spent probably five minutes trying to convince him that he needed to stop talking to me and go to a medical professional, or at least call one, but he wasn’t interested. He seemed quite aware that his situation wasn’t good, but preferred to talk to a sales person selling snake oil than someone who might be able to save his life.

He wasn’t the first, and wasn’t the last.

This is what I’m up against in my professional career. It might be easier in the Midwest, where there is a sense of professionalism, where experience and credentials matter to the client - where alternatives, fortunately and unfortunately, are hard to find.

What’s next? Stay tuned…

Then I remembered that another place I had coffee in Chicago offered their iced coffee as made with the Toddy cold brewing system. I had made coffee w/ the Toddy system when I worked for Seattle’s Best Coffee around 2001, so yesterday I set out on a money saving experiment. I picked up a Toddy brewer at Seattle’s Best Coffee in Pike Place Market, and just previous to that, bought 12 oz of beans from Stumptown (their House Blend). The barista at Stumptown steared me towards their House Blend with the knowledge I’d be making it with the Toddy. While I was at SBC, they offered me a free pound to go with my Toddy maker, so I picked up some of their new-age sealed (good for a year!) Panorama Blend.

I don’t know that much about coffee - especially compared to some - but I did spend the better part of 3 years of my life between Starbucks (back when you learned to pull real shots) and SBC (back when they were owned by a chicken company). I have the hope that the Panorama Blend might be palatable. We shall see.

For today, I’m on my second glass of the Stumptown House Blend. It’s a little more bitter than I’d like, but I’m liking it so far, and am glad I’ll have a carafe of it in the fridge whenever I need a bit of a boost. For the newly unemployed such as myself, inspiration is needed to get my butt into gear, so I hope this will provide it.

Getting back to the Seattle chill was refreshing after trying to run in the Chicago heat. I ended the week with being able to jog for 20 min straight, and even better, at a consistent pace. The only reason I was able to do this, though, was thanks to re-reading the first few chapters from Runner’s World Complete Book of Women’s Running and purchasing the Polar F11 Heart Rate Monitor. I’ll still be using my Nike+ SportBand, especially because I like the data I get from it, but I was focusing too much on how fast/far I was going, and not on plain old conditioning, and I was wearing myself out. Thanks to the OwnZone option of the Polar F11, I was able to stay at a slow, steady, consistent pace for a longer period of time, allowing me to ultimately go a greater distance with less strain on my body.

So far, I’m loving the Polar F11, and am glad I purchased it. I had wanted one initially that didn’t require the chest strap, but it looks like that the $80 savings for the non-strap models (of varying brands) don’t do the play-by-play heart rate, nor would they reasonably be able to protest when I’m over or under exerting myself. The strap is comfy, and for the most part, the readout is large enough that I can read it while jogging, with the exception of being the OwnZone details when I start up my exercise.

Today I’m taking a much needed rest day. I did two days in a row, two times last week, and my joints are complaining a bit. I have a natural tendency to push myself too hard (in about all areas), so thanks to my new gadgets, and re-reading the pertinent chapters, I’m learning to take it easy.

I’m also learning to eat a bit differently and remember my vitamins! This is especially important since I was diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency.

At some point this week I’ll try to blog about more than my running pursuits. My mini-goal for now is to sign up for a fun 5k sometime in September or early October.